Arachnophobia
by x-Bademancer-x
Summary: Wheatley comes across a spider for the first time. Hilarity ensues. My birthday gift to the wonderful conquerorwurm! Happy Birthday!


**Hello you lovely readers =) I bet you all thought I was dead. Haha =P Well, I'm not, I'm just flooded with work, as usual.**

**Anyway, I wrote this for my dear friend Wurm (FanFiction and Tumblr: conquerorwurm). Her birthday is January 19th! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A BRILLIANT WRITER AND ONE OF THE NICEST, SWEETEST PEOPLE I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF CONVERSATING WITH. Enjoy =)**

**-CheckItOutGirl=)**

**A/N: 3rd person. Chelley fluff. If nothing else, there's human!Wheatley being adorable. And I'm kind of following the whole "Chell and Wheatley escaped and now live together" thing.**

**. . .**

_Arachnophobia_

Chell sat in her favorite plush chair, a blanket she knitted herself draped lazily over the back. Her pale eyes furiously scanned the pages of a book she was reading, it's cover worn and torn. She'd found it on the side of the road on the third day of her flight from Aperture, her tall British companion stumbling helplessly behind her. It was the first sign of other human life she'd encountered, and the severely damaged little book held a special place in her heart because of it.

She'd read the pages more times than she could remember; probably hundreds, she noted, as she absentmindedly observed the many dog-eared corners, now weak from the many times they'd been folded and refolded. Chell still didn't know the name of it—the cover was so badly marred that the most she could make out was a very faded purple "W". A sigh escaped her lips as she briefly looked up at the large window opposite her, the world she'd imagined for so long completely different from what her limited mind could dream up in between tests. Everywhere outside, there was gray; endless, endless gray, from the charred, burnt remains of the grassy pastures to the overcast sky pouring slate colored rain upon them.

But still, she loved this world. It was far better than anything Aperture could have given her, and had everything that the laboratory lacked: comfort, security, safety, _warmth_. Though she was the only human for miles—or at least, she _hoped _there were more within a few miles—besides her once simulated, accented partner, she loved all the other little lifeforms that she happened to come across. Occasionally a busy bumblebee would float by, its bright yellow and jet black body contrasting with the dismal world. And though its colors sent a small, chilling reminder down her spine, Chell appreciated the creature anyway. She loved the birds, and the lizards, and the beetles, worms, and spiders.

Wheatley, however? Not so much.

Chell was still nestled in her chair when she heard a terrified shriek emanate from another room. Immediately leaping to her feet and bracing herself for the worst, Chell creeped through the hallways towards Wheatley's general direction, his breathy whimpers guiding her. Her hands balled in tight, hard fists, she finally poked her head through the door frame—

—to find Wheatley cowering in the corner of the room, his long legs pulled up as close to his chest as his anatomy would allow, and shrinking away from a small, brown object sharing the bed with him...

...a spider. A Daddy Long Legs, to be exact.

"Ch-_Chell_!" he called to her, his voice low and hushed, as if afraid to anger the harmless creature. "_Help me_!"

Rolling her eyes, Chell walked over to where the former A.I. hid himself, stretching out a reassuring hand in his direction.

With an almost cartoonish gulp, he hesitantly reached for her offered hand, his unnaturally bright blue eyes darting between it and the spider frantically. When she had a good grip on his hand, she yanked him forward towards her, and he fell off the bed, and would have landed head first on the wooden floor if Chell hadn't caught and steadied him.

He fixed his glasses, which had tilted dangerously out of place with the fall, and, still partially hiding behind Chell, leaned forward slightly to get a better look at his new enemy.

"What the bloody hell _is _that?" Wheatley asked, his voice shaky with part curiosity and, mostly, fright.

Her body quivering with a silent laugh, Wheatley turned his wild blue orbs to connect with her pale ones, reading her face for any sign of anxiety.

"How are you so _calm_? It's got _eight bloody legs_! A-and _FANGS_! I _swear_ I saw fangs!"

Laughing to herself again, she pried the lanky, bumbling Brit off of her and trotted to a different room.

"W-where are you going? Are you going to come back? That...that would be _marvelous _if you came back, truly fantastic. Really. Please come back."

No response. He should have expected that, really, being that it is _her _and all.

The tall, lanky man stood frozen, unsure of what to do other than just stare at the thing. He'd very much like to get back into bed. After all, he was rather cozy until that...that _thing_ crawled on top of his sheets.

He peered at the creature some more, studying it, trying to sort out its strengths and weaknesses, it's _goal_. "You're a small little thing, aren't you? Very tiny and insignificant. Can't imagine that you've got a whole lot of defenses for a flyspeck such as yourself. I could just reach over and crush you right now. N-not that I _will_, no need to be alarmed because, well, you are _bloody _scary, wouldn't want to get _you _angry, now would I? Don't think that'd be much fun for either of us."

An awkward chuckle bubbled up and out Wheatley's throat.

Chell re-entered the room with a tissue in her hand.

"_Oh_! Oh, good, you're back. Y'know, come to think of it, the little bloke isn't so bad, after all. He's got these long, gangly twigs for legs...sort of like me, huh?" He coughed out another awkward laugh and leaned forward to address the spider, as he now knew it, after Chell formed the word silently with her lips.

"Hello, little, er...spider-me. Spider Wheatley. You're actually kind of cute, if you squint your eyes a little bi—oh my God what are you doing Chell what are you _OH GOD WHATDIDYOUJUSTDO_?"

A horrified yelp followed his rushed words immediately afterwards, for Chell had, in one swift motion, promptly placed the tissue on top of the spider and crushed it, sending a sickening _squish_ bouncing off the walls.

"_Chell_!" he scolded, her name drawn out like a whine. "What on earth did you do _that_ for?"

Her brows furrowed as she shrugged, Chell rolled her eyes and strode out of the room, the tissue containing the dead spider's body delicately pinched between her thumb and forefinger.

"You know, we were getting acquainted, that spider and I! How would _you _like it if I just went around killing everyone you'd come in contact wi—_oh_, oh right. Sorry about that. Bad memories. My bad. Carry on with your...with your literature and your...your _folklore_..."


End file.
